Dating is hard enough as it is. Whether you’re a man or woman, it’s nerve-wracking to put yourself out there and try to find someone who might be your perfect match. But dating as a man, and a gay man at that can seem even more complicated than dating as a woman due to the minefield of complications and easy ways to hook up online.
Here are some tips for those gay guys out there who just want to get it right next time they ask him out on a date.
Be Clear and Confident
Don’t make the mistake of being wishy-washy about what you want. Know what you want before you ask him out. If you can’t confidently say that you want to take him on a date, don’t even bother asking in the first place. Be clear about what you are looking for and know that if he says no, it has nothing to do with your worth as a person or whether or not he likes you. He is just not interested in dating right now.
Don’t Make It All About You
The best way to ask a man out is to make it all about him. Think about what he likes and what might be interesting for him.
For example, you could take note of the type of music he listens to or the type of TV show he watches and then suggest doing something related to that interest. You can also see what groups he likes on Facebook or Twitter and then invite him on an outing related to that interest.
This way, you’ll be able to find out more about him while getting closer over time. Plus, the fact that you took the time to learn more about him will show him that you are interested in getting to know who he really is.
Another thing you should try is taking an interest in his hobbies yourself so you can get to know each other better. If your date loves reading, try picking up a book by one of their favourite authors so you can talk about it together! This way, your date will see that not only are you into them but also into their world too. It’s true: love isn’t all about falling head over heels at first sight; it’s actually more like falling in love with someone little by little every day.
Give him a Reason to Say Yes
Some men have all the choice in the world when it comes to dating, but others are picky about who they date. If you’re interested in a man and want to ask him out, give him a reason to say yes. Don’t just ask him out for no reason. Give him a good reason why you want to go on a date with him.
For example, if he likes dogs and you’re going to be walking your dog at the same time as him, that might be a good opportunity to strike up a conversation and then ask for his number or offer to meet up with another day. Ask if he would want to grab coffee sometime soon too! Letting him know what you have in mind can help make it more likely that he’ll say yes.
Be a Gentleman
Don’t be that guy who is always trying to get a man interested in you. It may work for some, but it won’t work for others. Don’t be pushy and don’t make a guy feel like he has to say yes to your date request.
When asking him out, try to be a gentleman and offer him a drink or something light to eat before the date. This will build up anticipation for the date and show him that you are thoughtful. You can also send flowers or chocolate with the invitation so he feels special when he gets it in the mail.
Respect boundaries when on the date
Don’t talk about how many chaps you have slept with when you first go out with someone new. That is not what guys want to hear about on their first date! Respect his boundaries and show him that you are interested in getting to know more about him than just hooking up later on in life.
Flirt With him On Your Date
If you want to make a good impression on your date, try flirting with him. Flirting can be done in different ways. You can flirt by touching his arm while talking, telling him he looks handsome or complimenting something about the way he looked that day. You can also flirt through your actions and gestures like brushing against him while walking together or giving the occasional light touch on the arm or back.
Above all, flirting is about being confident and showing interest in what he has to say. It’s not about acting like a sleazy guy who only cares about getting laid. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like you have much experience with flirting or dating because it just takes some time to get more comfortable with it.
Get Into Dating Mode Now
To ask someone out the right way, you need to be in dating mode. Dating mode means being assertive and confident. You can’t just show up at his house with flowers one day and think that will work. It doesn’t matter if you have a cool job, are handsome, or have nice clothes. Those things don’t matter if you don’t have the confidence to ask him on a date.
Want to get some dating practice in?