The first habit I picked when I got a job and moved away from the comfort of my parents and siblings was hiring gay male companions. You probably would say, “That’s weird!” True, it may be but as a young girl with lots of hormones running in me, having me around was inevitable. However there was another huge problem, I also want to stick around with my virginity for a long time.
Now, this gets crazy for you to understand, I guess. You probably would be wondering how someone with so much rush of hormones and craving for men would remain a virgin. Well, you can blame that on the deep Christian principles of my parents. That was not what I would have wished for myself if I was allowed to choose, but I have no regrets at all.
In my workplace, I have this close partner. Her desk was beside mine, separated by wood. No matter how much I would have loved to remain silent and undisturbed, she would not let me. If we spent nine hours in the office, her mouth was open for six hours. Sometimes this annoyed me, but at other times it was the right distraction that I needed to get over the boring day.
One thing she always talked about was her boyfriend. If it was not how they went to this party today and had fun, it was how he made her feel helpless on the bed. I used to wonder how she would be so comfortable talking about her private life in public.
“Do you have a boyfriend? You need to get one!” she used to tease.
I couldn’t let her intimidate me all the time, so I also began to bombard her with my escapades with gay male companions. Through her, I have learned how to lose the shame of talking about my private life in public. I would paint a vivid picture and tell her about all the gay male companions I have hired that week.
“Don’t you think this your gay male companions is a little bit too excessive? You need to get into a relationship and not just to hire people that you may never see again.”
It was not as if I have not tried to get into a real relationship before. The very first time it tried it ended in disaster. I met this guy in a club. By the way, I love to go clubbing every Friday night. I had drunk a few shots of spirit and was feeling a bit tipsy – but not drunk. I still had my senses intact and could make clear decisions.
Sadly this guy thought I was too drunk to think. He volunteered to drive me home to make sure I was safe. Now, that sounded romantic, and there was no way I would have ever turned down such an offer. He drove me home and held me by the arm into my house. However, things changed rapidly.
He grabbed my top and pulled it off. I was cool with that. His next move, however, stunned me. He pressed his lips to mine. I resisted, but he used his masculine strength then I screamed, and he let me go. I felt as if I had just been raped. It was a horrible feeling.
“Leave my house!” I yelled at the top of my voice.
He gave me a questioning look and left.
There was another guy I met a couple of months ago. I had also grown fond of him, but when he demanded sex several times, and I refused, he left. I know if I am thinking about settling down I had to get into a relationship with a guy who was not gay. But so far, from my experiences, all the guys I have to meet seem more interested in gaining access between my legs than my heart.
With gay male companions, it is always different. Their priority is usually to get me to have ample fun. There is usually no tension between us and I am always my freest around them. I hope I find the right guy soon, but for now, I won’t let my co-staff intimidate me.